I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
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she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
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You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize