You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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