Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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