.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
