Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
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