some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
