I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize