I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
