honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
