And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
