She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
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He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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