so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
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Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
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My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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