yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
