I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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