just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There r osticjed everywhere
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
