It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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