Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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