# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
