i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
