Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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