i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
