When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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