Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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