I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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