I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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