I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
