it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
there is glitter all over my balls
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
