so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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