You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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