it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
