remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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