wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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