No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
