she takes plan B like it's going out of style
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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