And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
