I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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