I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Randomize
