What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
