So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What did we do last night that was yellow?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
