Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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