this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
