Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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