We're facebook friends in real life
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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