"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
