I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
