I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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