just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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