So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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