you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
