I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
What a dumb baby whore.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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