I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
