is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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