I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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