for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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