Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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