White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
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Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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