Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
time to smoke my breakfast
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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