Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
