My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
