3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my shit smells like andre
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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