i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We left an ass print on the piano.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
